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How do I find the right person on dating apps?

I believe this question has to be one of the most asked questions when it comes to using a dating app. Whether you are a dating app newbie or you have been using them for years like me, you will always have this question.

 

Looking for a potential partner is very much like looking for a job. In my experience, you can break it down to 4 parts:

    1. Upload the right pictures

    2. Fill in the description with some humor

    3. Look for hints in other person’s profile

    4. Look for vibes when messaging

 

The first two are like preparing the resume to earn yourself the job interview, while the latter two are the actual interview.

 

  1. Upload the right pictures

Have you ever heard like attracts like? If you want to attract someone who is outdoorsy, you should upload pictures of you in the nature, perhaps snowboarding, skydiving or doing any kind of water activities. If you want someone who is more intellectual, maybe you can have a picture of you in a museum or an art gallery.

 

  2. Fill in the description with some humor

Many studies have shown that you get a much higher chance of matching if you fill in the personal description than just leaving it blank, but how exactly should we write it? Personally, I like to put something that is a little stupid but witty. For example, “I speak 4.5 human languages and 3 computer languages” or “I work out 5 times a week only to burn the calories I gain from drinking boba”. Something that shows off who you are but not in an arrogant way.

 

  3. Look for hints in the other person’s profiles

When you are swiping on so many profiles, it’s easy to get tired and just start swiping right on everybody. But don’t! Look for common interests or red flags in the other person’s profile. For example, since I expect my potential partner to be sporty too, I may look for pictures taken in nature or while snowboarding or skydiving. Also, I do not swipe on users who have too many selfies and zero variation in the pictures.

 

  4. Look for vibes when messaging

Once you match, it is time to start chatting. But how exactly do we start a conversation? Should I just send a good old “hi”? Or should I be more chilled and be like “sup, girl”? Now, texting itself is an art and should be taught as a school subject. But personally, I would say just go with the flow and be you. If you get along, it will be obvious and the conversation will flow.

Kenneth Chen

Kenneth Chen

StepUp's co-founder and heavy dating app addict. Lived in the United States, Japan, Korea, France and Taiwan. Worked as a data analyst at a fintech startup in California, while co-owning a french crepe café. Eventually quit his job and sold the creperie to make StepUp with the hopes to make online dating more personal and efficient.

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