Can you really find love on tinder?

Not just love, but can anyone really find any meaningful relationship through online dating? Well, I found my girlfriend on tinder, and I know a few others who did, too, and even got married!

However, it is definitely no easy task. I consider myself a heavy dating app user and borderline addict. I was in the online dating game before tinder and all these apps got viral.

In the last five years, I tried 30+ apps, matched with 1000 people, went on 50 dates, and sadly only talk to 5 today. One eventually became my girlfriend, while the rest are all very close friends of mine for at least three or so years now.

Anyway, many people believe the apps have ruined dating. They say that they make people replaceable now. Everything is focused on fast and instant results that is difficult to actually build something strong. If you don’t get along with someone, it’s fine. A new one is just a swipe away.

Do a quick search on reddit, and you will find many posts saying how it used to be so much nicer when we can just go to bars and meet people there. Or how meeting people online is the new norm, and meeting in real life is weird now.

I agree that today’s dating apps seem a bit misaligned with users’ interests. Since the companies’ goal is to have you, the user, come back as often and as fast as possible to generate more revenue, if you can find the love of you life instantly, there would be no business for them.

On the flip side, dating has always been hard. Even before the existence of apps, we had to meet people through our friends, at bars, at work/school or conjure up the courage to talk to cute strangers at cafes, etc. And after we get their contacts, we need to go through a series of dates and events to know them better. Until eventually something strong can be formed, or perhaps we simply drift apart.

After all, we are all humans, and we are all complex beings. Relationships will always be hard, and there is no one size fits all answer. So, my advice to those who are tired of online dating is always “take a break and try again”. And if you would like to skip the small talks and swiping, try out the app “StepUp” my friend Andy and I built. It is a 3 minute video chat app that starts with a blur.

Happy dating and stay safe in pandemic, people.